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INDIAN JOKES
Submitted by Paki_Power on 21/Apr/2009
87.221.107.95
Message:
Absolute Classics:
Q: How do you stop a Indian tank ?
A: Shoot the men who are pushing it.
Q: How do you disable a Indian tank ?
A: Hide the wind-up key.
Q: How do you disable Indian missiles ?
A: Cut the rubber band.
Indian Air Force officials have recently motioned for a name change for the IAF. They want to call it the PMC, the Indian Mining Corps. This is because their planes end up in the ground anyway.
Indian military researchers have recently ordered for the enlargement of the hatches on tanks and other armored vehicles. This is so they can be more easily abandoned in enemy territory.
Q: Have you ever seen Indian war heroes ?
A: Neither has India.
Q: Did you hear about the latest Indian invention ?
A: It's a solar powered flashlight.
Q: Did you hear about the other latest Indian invention ?
A: The new automatic parachutes. They open on impact.
Q: How do you sink a Indian battleship ?
A: Put it in water.
Q: Did you hear about the Indian helicopter crash ?
A: The pilot felt cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q: What does a Indian submarine and a used condom have in common?
A: They're both full of thick useless semen (seamen)
Q: How can you recognize a Indian in a submarine?
A: He is the one with the parachute on his back.
Did you hear about the 747 jet which crashed into a cemetery in New Dili?
The Indian officials have so far recovered 3000 bodies.
Did you hear about the Indian admiral who had asked to be buried at sea ?
Five Indian sailors died digging his grave.
Did you hear about the other tragedy in New Dili ? There was a terrible power cut in New Dili's Four Square Shopping Mall.
People were stuck on the escalator for four hours.
Q: Did you hear about the Indian family that froze to death outside a theater ?
A: They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the winter".
Q: Why do Indian dogs have flat noses ?
A: They get it from chasing parked cars.
Q: Did you hear about the Indian who studied diligently for five days ?
A: He was scheduled to take a urine test.
Q: Did you hear about the shutdown of the New Dili National Library ?
A: Somebody stole the book.
Q. You're locked in a room with ASHOKA, Adolf Hitler, and a Indian. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Indian twice to make sure he's dead.
Q. What's brown and black and looks great on a Indian?
A. A Doberman.
Q. How can you tell when a Indian is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
Q. What do you have when a Indian is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. Did you Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of Indians?
A. He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met
Q: Why was Indra Ganhdi so dear to Russian President and India?
A: Cus Every time she went to see the President, she came back with a new Nuclear bomb.
Q: Why was there lipstick on the Sonia Gandhi’s steering wheel?
A: She tried to blow the horn
Q: What did Sonia Gandhi’s left leg say to her right leg?
A: Nothing, they have never met.
Q: Who is Monica Lewinsky’s second sexiest man after Clincton.
A: L.K. Adwani
Q: Why do Indians not be butcher cows?
A: Because COWDUNG is as delicious as PIGSHIT.
Q: Why did it take many years for India to test its bombs after 1974?
A: Because the user’s manual was written in Russian.
Q: Why is it so important for Indians to learn Russain and Israieli Lang. ( Abrani)?
A: Otherwise whey might end up dropping those bombs on Momby or New Dili instead of Lahore or Krachi.
Q: What do you call an Indian with his hand up a Pig’s ass?
A: A mechanic.
Q: Which virtue would that be showing if you see a Indian stopping a man beating up a donkey?
A: Brotherly Love
Q: Why couldn’t a Indian woman terrorist blow up a car?
A: Because she burned her mouth on the tale pipe.
Q: What sexual positions produce the ugliest children?
A: Ask any Indians.
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