What Gives?
An old hippie dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks him up in his big book and says, “I’m sorry, but you’ll be going down to Hell.” The hippie, astounded, peers through the gates and sees God walking in the distance.
What Gives?
An old hippie dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks him up in his big book and says, “I’m sorry, but you’ll be going down to Hell.” The hippie, astounded, peers through the gates and sees God walking in the distance.
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Should I lie?
Mr. Smith asked his wife for advice about his upcoming court case in which he could
possibly win $50,000 from the insurance company. “Honey, if I lie I’ll win the case. But
then I would have broken an oath sworn on the Holy Bible.”
His wife says, “I don’t want to advise you to do the wrong thing, but…”
“But, what?”
“Let me put it this way,” his wife explained. “Treat the prosecuting attorney like I treat
you in bed.”
Puzzled, Mr. Smith asks, “How so?”
Mrs. Smith replies, “Just lie there ’til he goes away.”
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The Embarrassing problem
A woman goes to see the doctor and says, “Doc, I’ve got a very embarrassing problem. I was playing with my vibrator last night and I’ve got the whole thing stuck inside me!”
“Don’t worry,” says the doc, “We’ll soon get it out of you.”
“Get in out?” says the woman, “I don’t want you to get it out. I just want you to change the batteries.”
WHO
Did you hear about the World Health Organization’s new publicity campaign?
Apparently they’ve chosen the slogan, “WHO Cares”
In a second campaign specific to African farm sanitation. They’re delivering 20 million tons of clean fertilizer and using the slogan “WHO Gives A Shit!”
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