Sardar Jokes - Sardarji Santa Singh And The Door Bell

One more sardar joke for your fun. Sardar jokes are funny Indian jokes on Sikh community. These sardarji jokes are similar to blond jokes. These jokes are not meant to hurt the sardars but these sardar jokes are purely for fun and amusement.

Door Bell

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.

Santa does not turn up for 4 days.

Lady calls again,

Santa replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the bell, but no one comes out.

Little Johnny jokes, Little Johnny and Balloons

Little Johnny jokes are the naughty jokes and you will laugh out loudly while reading these funny little johnny jokes. Here is a funny joke about little johnny asking embarrassing question to his parents.  Little johnny and balloons…you ‘ll love this  hilarious joke.

Little johnny And Balloons - A funny little johnny joke

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest!?”

Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question.

His father, always quick with the answers, says, “Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”

Little Johnny thinks that’s neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys’ dad comes home from work a few hours early. Little Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, “Daddy! Daddy! Mommy’s dying!!”

His father says, “Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy’s dying?”

“Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy’s’ balloons and she’s screaming, “Oh God, I’m coming!”  ;-)

5 Funny School Jokes, Clean Kids Jokes, Education Humor

School jokes are very funny clean kids jokes and while reading these funny school jokes, you will definitely be back to your school life. Share these funny school jokes and education jokes with your kids and have a great funny time. School jokes, college jokes mostly consist of clean children teacher jokes and school humor. Check these five funny school jokes here.

Natural History Lesson

The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson.

“Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?”

One child was ready with the answer: “They don’t have a union.”

Opinion

On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.
The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”

Silence
The 3rd grade teacher had to leave her classroom for a few minutes. On returning, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet.

She was shocked and absolutely stunned. She said “I’ve never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved and quiet?”

Finally, after much urging, little Julie spoke up and said, “Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead.”


One Difficult Question

There was a student who was desirous of taking admission for a study course.

He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GD and was to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got impatient and decided to corner the boy.

“Tell me your choice,” said he to the boy, “What’s your choice: I shall either ask you ten easy questions or ONE real difficult. Think well before you make up your mind.”

The boy thought for a while and said, “My choice is ONE real difficult question.”

“Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!” said the man on the opposite side. Tell me : What comes first , Day or Night ?”

The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said: “It’s the DAY, sir.”

“How ???????” the interviewer was smiling (”At last, I got you!” he said to himself.)

“Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”

Admission for the course was thus secured.

Chair

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an a when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: “Which chair?”

Funny Dating Jokes, Love Jokes, Romance Jokes

Dating jokes are very funny and people love to crack hilarious dating jokes so that they can share these funny dating jokes in wedding party or marriage ceremony or while they are on date. Dating jokes act as stimuli while making love or people are in romance. Love jokes, romance jokes are part of love making. Check out these funny dating jokes and have fun :)

Marry Me

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said “yes”.

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny…”

After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn’t remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

“Oh”, she said, “I’m so glad you called. I remembered saying ‘yes’ to someone, but I couldn’t remember who it was.”

Blind Date

After being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, “I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.”

“Thank heavens,” his date replied. “If yours hadn’t, mine would have had to!”

Dating Gifts

A father said, “Son, the object of dating is to SCORE! And to do that, you have to give the woman something. So when you pick up your date later, make sure you have some flowers or chocolates to give her. Girls go crazy over that stuff. The more you give, the more you get!”

So, he showed up with flowers and chocolates.

She was very flattered and pleased, and she rewarded him with a long, passionate kiss. She pressed her chest against him and rubbed her fingers through his hair, hoping to give him the best kiss that he had ever received.

After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door.

“Oh! I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to scare you away.”

“You didn’t!” he replied. “I’m going out to get you some jewelry!”

Measurements

Jim: So your blind date had measurements of 39-23-35?

Jeff: That’s right. It’s just too bad they weren’t in that order.

Funny Sardar Jokes, Santa Banta Jokes, Indian Sardarji Jokes

Indian sardarji jokes are a traditional funny sardar jokes basically on stereotypes of Sikhs. Sardar jokes are very popular in India and Pakistan. Santa Singh jokes, Banta Singh jokes are the classical funny sardar jokes. Everybody likes santa banta jokes. Those jokes are of absolute comedy nature. Here are some very funny sardarji jokes.

B Silent! Sardarji

Santa travelling 1’st time in plane going 2 mumbai.While its landing, he shouted ‘Bombay..Bombay’.

Airhostess said “B silent”..Santa said “OK”..Ombay Ombay” :)


Swimming Not Allowed

An American tourist in Punjab walked into a beautiful deserted forest and found a lovely pool in it, and decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn`t see anyone, and undressed and just as she was about to dive in, Santa appeared from behind the bushes where he was hiding all along and said,

“Madam! Swimming not allowed!”

“You could have told me that before I took off my clothes!” the American woman scolded him.

Santa replied, “Madam, only swimming not allowed, taking off clothes allowed!”

Sms By Sardarji

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.

Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing.

The report said, “DELIVERED”.

Banana Peel and Sardar

So this sardarji is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess what he might be thinking?

Saala aaj bhi girna padega. [F*uk! Again I have to slip today!]

Funny Friendship Jokes For Friends

Friend jokes are the best way to strengthen your bonds between friends. Funny Friendship jokes can help to melt the ice between friends when there is a stiff situation. Here are some friend jokes that you can share with your friends. Have fun with these clean, funny friendship jokes :)

Personal Secretary

A guy walked into his friend’s office. He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.

“Hey, what’s up with you?”, he asked.

“Oh, its my wife,” replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me.”

“Well, nothing wrong in that,” he said, “Is she blonde or brunette?”

“Neither. He’s bald.”

Fault

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He

lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an

hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are

between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”

“You must be an engineer” says the balloonist.

“I am” replies the man. “How did you know.”

“Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of

your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”

The man below says “You must be a manager.”

“I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have

no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you

were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”

Perfect Girl

A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married?

Replied the gentleman, “Well, I guess I just never met the right woman … I guess I’ve been looking for the

perfect girl.”

“Oh, come on now,” said the friend, “Surely you have met at least on girl that you wanted to marry.”

“Yes, there was one girl .. once. I guess she was the one perfect girl.

The only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything .. I really mean that she was the

perfect girl for me.”

“Well, why didn’t you marry her,” asked the friend.

“She was looking for the perfect man,” he said.

Very Funny Police Jokes

Here we come with some very funny Police Jokes and Cop Jokes that will make you laugh. Police jokes and police humor range in topics from criminals to drunks. Check out these funny policeman jokes and cop jokes and laugh out loudly.

Innocent

Two criminals are talking in a jail cell.

“What are you in for?”

“Something I did not do!”

“Sooo… you’re innocent? What did you not do?”

“I didn’t run fast enough!”

Traffic Stop

1st Officer: “Guess who I pulled over in a traffic stop the other day?”
2nd Officer: “Who?”
1st Officer: “Janet Jackson!”
2nd Officer: “What she do, was she speeding?”
1st Officer: “Nah, she had one headlight out.”

LAPD

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

Dead Stop

A police officer pulled a car over and arrested the driver for stealing the car.
When he questioned the driver why he stold the car, the driver explained, “It was parked outside a cemetery and I thought the owner was dead!”

3 Funny Golf Jokes for Golf Lovers

Are you interested in Golf Jokes? If you are a Golf lover or a Golfer yourself, you will definitely love these funny golf jokes. Golf Jokes on golf instruction, golf swing, golf course, golf tournament, golf shoes, golf tees, golf clubs, golf balls and golf lessons are very popular among golfers and in golf clubs. Here are some funny golf jokes for your fun.

Golfing With An Older Golfer

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn’t hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn’t waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, “You know, when I was your age I’d hit the ball right over that tree.”

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, “Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall.”


The Amazing Golf Ball

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!”
The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is it?”
“It’s a special golf ball,” says the salesman. “You can never lose it!”
“What ya mean,” scoffs the golfer, “you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?”
“No problem,” says the salesman. “It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it.”
“Well, what if you hit it into the woods?”
“Easy,” says the salesman. “It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed.”
“Okay,” says the golfer, impressed. “But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?”
“No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I’m telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!”
The golfer buys it at once. “Just one question,” he says to the salesman. “Where did you get it?”
“I found it.”

Golf Lessons

A foursome was waiting at the men’s tee while another foursome of ladies were hitting from the ladies tee.
The ladies were taking their time and when finally the last one was ready to hit the ball she hacked it about 10 feet, went over to it, hacked it another ten feet.
She looked up at the men waiting and said apologetically,
“I guess all those f*u*c*k*i*n*g lessons I took this winter didn’t help”
One of the men immediately replied, “No, you see there’s your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead.”

Funny Family Jokes, Family Fun, Clean Jokes

Family Jokes are funny clean jokes that you can share with your family. For Family fun, Family Jokes play a vital role. These are clean jokes and you can enjoy it with your family and laugh with everybody. Sit back, relax and read these funny family jokes for your family fun and family entertainment. A joke a day, keeps the doctor away. :) Check out these funny jokes.

Kiss Dad Before School

“Dad,” a teenage girl says, running into her father’s den, “I’d like to kiss you good-bye before I go to school!”
“You’re too late, Honey. Your mother just did that two minutes ago, and I don’t have any cash left on me.”

How God Looks Like

A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, “Is God male or female?”

After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, “Well, God is both male and female.”

This confuses the little boy so he asks, “Is God black or white?”

“Well, God is both black and white.”

This further confuses the boy so he asks, “Is God gay or straight?”

At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers none the less, “Honey, God is both gay and straight.”

At this, the boy’s face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, “Is God Michael Jackson?”

[This joke is just for fun and not intended to mean it otherwise. If you are easily offended, then please ignore.]

Good News

A young man from a prominent family was being divorced by his glamorous wife. His lawyer called with news about the property settlement.

“The good news is that she isn’t asking for any share of your future inheritance.”

“Great!” said the young man. “What’s the bad news?”

“Well,” said the lawyer, “after the divorce, she’s marrying your father!” :)

The Elevator

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this Father?”

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life! I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.

The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.

The father said quietly to his son… “Go get your mother.”

Very Long

A son was filling up the form with Dad’s help. He came across a question, “Mother tongue.”

He asked his Dad, “What should I write here, Dad?”

And Dad responded, “Very long.”

What is Bible?

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, “I know what the Bible means!”

His father smiled and replied, “What do you mean, you ‘know’ what the Bible means?”

The son replied, “I do know!”

“Ok, said his father. “So, son, what does the Bible mean?”

“That’s easy, Daddy. It stands for ‘Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.’”

Mothers Day Jokes, Mothers Day Humor, Mothers Day Quotes, Mothers Day Greetings

Mothers day is one of the most popular events celebrated globally. On Mother’s Day, make your Mom laugh through these light funny Mothers Day Jokes and beautiful mothers day quotes. Check out this hilarious collection of Mother’s Day humor and jokes. Reading one-liner mothers day humor and light humorous mother’s day jokes are very interesting and a funny experience too. Send these mothers day jokes and mothers day quotes to your loving mom as mothers day greetings and make her laugh. what can be the best mothers day gift for your loving mom if you bring a smile to her face?

Mother’s Day quotes:

“Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.”
T. DeWitt Talmage.

“Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.”
Mildred B. Vermont.

“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.”
Oscar Wilde.

Mothers’ dictionary:

* Bottle-feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am.
* Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
* Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
* Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
* Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
* Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
* Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Mothers Day Jokes

My Teacher is Thankful


Son: “Mom, teacher was asking me today, if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.”
Mom: “That’s nice of her to take such an interest in you. So what did she say when you told her that you’re the only child, my dear?”
Son: “She just said…“Thank goodness!”

Mother


A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.”

She immediately replies, “The one on the right.”

“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you Know?”

The Indian mother replies, “I don’t like her.”


It’s Time to go to School


One early morning, a lady went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!”
Son: “But why Mom? I don’t want to go.”
Mom: “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
Son: “Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!”
Mom: “Oh, that’s no reason to not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
Son: “Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
Mom: “Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!”

Grandma on the Plane


For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.

She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren.

“Oh, I’ve done all the talking, and I’m so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me… what do you think of my grandchildren?”