RAPID FIRE FOR KIDS
Q: What do you call a woman with a sinking ship on her head?
A: Mandy Lifeboats!
Q: What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on her head playing snooker?
A: Beatrix Potter!
Q: What do you call a lion with toothache?
A: Rory!
Q: What do you call a man with a big truck on his head?
A: Laurie!
Q: What do you call a man with turf on his head?
A: Pete!
Q: What do you call the ghost who haunts TV shows?
A: Phantom of the Oprah!
Q: What kind of illness does Bruce Lee get?
A: Kung Flu!
Q: What do you call a man who doesn’t sink?
A: Bob!
Q: What do you call a Rodent that has a sword?
A: A Mouseketeer!
Q: What do you call the bad lion tamer?
A: Claude Bottom
QUICKFIRE FUNNIES FOR KIDS
Q: What do monsters make with cars?
A: Traffic Jam
Q: What do you call the elephant witch doctor?
A: Mumbo Jumbo
Q: Why did the pony cough?
A: He was a little hoarse!
Q: What do sheep do on sunny days?
A: Have a baa – baa – cue!
Q: How do you know when a dog has been naughty?
A: It leaves a little poodle on the carpet!
Q: Where do Aliens keep their sandwiches?
A: In a Launch box
Q: What do you call the pub on Mars?
A: A Mars Bar!
Q: Why did the spaceship land outside your bedroom?
A: I must have left the landing light on
Q: What do you call a vampire that lives in the kitchen?
A: Spatula!
Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with!
FUNNY RIDDLES FOR KIDS
Q: If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would they bury the survivors?
A: you don’t bury survivors
Q: Twelve pears hanging high, twelve men passing by, each took a pear and left eleven hanging there. How can this be? How can eleven pears be left?
A: ‘Each’ is a mans name!
Q: If there’s a frog, dead in the centre of a lilypad which is right in the middle of the pond, which side would it jump to?
A: neither, the frog is dead!
Q: You’re a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth stop everyone got off. The question is what color are the bus drivers eyes?
A: The same as yours, you’re the bus driver.
Q: What never gets any wetter, no matter how much it rains?
A: The sea!
Q: A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a hair on his head got wet…how come?
A: He was bald.
Q: David’s father has three sons : Snap, Crackle and _____ ?
A: David
Q: What has a mouth but doesn’t eat, a bank with no money, a bed but doesn’t sleep, and waves but has no hands?
A: a river.
Q: A cowboy rode to an inn on Friday. He stayed two nights and left on Friday. How could that be?
A: His horse was called Friday.
Q: If the red house is on the right side and if the blue house is on the left side where’s the white house?
A: Washington DC
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