Archive for the ‘Funny Jokes’ Category

Fathers jokes, Dad jokes, Clean funny jokes – Waiting Room

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

There were three fathers to be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born.

Halloween Beethoven jokes, funny ‘n’ scary Halloween jokes on Beethoven symphony

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

A daring vacationer in Vienna is walking through a graveyard on Halloween when all of a sudden she hears music. No one is around, so she starts looking to see where it’s coming from.

Blonde jokes, funny blond joke – The blonde and two men

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

A blonde woman was driving down the highway when her car broke down. She pulled to the side of the road, got out and opened the trunk of her car.
Two men dressed in trench coats got out of her trunk. They faced the oncoming traffic and proceeded to bare their nude bodies to the other drivers.
A cop drives up and asks the blonde, “What the hell is going on here?”
She tells him, “Well officer, my car broke down.”
He says, “Miss, I can see that, but why are these two men exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic?”
She says, “I didn’t want to cause an accident, so I’m using my emergency flashers!”

Funny political jokes, politics joke – Liberal Democrat Jokes – UK Political Party

Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

Liberal Democrat Jokes ( UK Political Party )
Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Liberals.
Q: What is the Liberal doing when he has his hands tightly clasped over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out a light bulb.
Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: What the difference between a Liberal and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don’t know either.
Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why don’t they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Liberal.

Funny jokes – two trees and woodpecker

Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

Two Trees
Two big trees are in the woods and they notice a young tree begins to grow between them. “Is that a son of a Beech or a son of a Birch?” asks one of the big trees.
“I don’t know,” says the other big tree.
A while later a Woodpecker lands on the young tree and one of the big trees asks, “Hey, Mr Woodpecker. Is that young tree a son of a Beech or a son of a Birch?”
The Woodpecker takes a nibble and replies, “It’s neither. It’s the best bit of Ash I’ve ever had my pecker in.”

Funny music jokes – Bagpiper

Monday, October 5th, 2009

1st man: “My neighbors were screaming and yelling at three o clock this morning!”

2nd man: “Did they wake you?”

Funny Hippie Jokes – What Gives?

Sunday, October 4th, 2009

What Gives?

An old hippie dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks him up in his big book and says, “I’m sorry, but you’ll be going down to Hell.” The hippie, astounded, peers through the gates and sees God walking in the distance.

Short Funny Jokes – 130th Edition

Sunday, October 4th, 2009

A certain Congressman had disastrous experience in goldmine speculations. One day a number of colleagues were discussing the subject of his speculation, when one of them said to this Western member:

Funny Irish Jokes, Bank Robber Jokes – Bank Of Ireland

Saturday, October 3rd, 2009

An armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland and forces the cashier to load a sack full of cash.

Funny Jokes, Hot Jokes – The Girl In The Bus

Saturday, October 3rd, 2009

I was stuck on the bus for fifteen minutes today.

Some dumb chav girl refused to pay her fare, claiming she had left her Oyster card at home, so therefore she should be able to travel for free.