Very Funny Jokes

Q and A jokes
Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A. Wearing regular rocks would be far too heavy!
Q: When a man talks dirty to a woman what’s it called?
A: Sexual harassment.
Q: When a woman talks dirty to a man what’s it called?
A: $3.99 a minute.
Q. What are the small bumps around a woman’s nipples for?
A. It’s Braille for “suck here.”
Q. What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull?
A. Lipstick.
Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a coffin?
A. You come in one and go in the other.
Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Q. What’s six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
A. Money.
Q. What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After 5 years your job will still suck.
Q. What’s the best thing about a blow job?
A. Ten minutes of silence.
Q: How can you recognize a French soldier?
A: He the one with the Sunburned armpits.
Q: What do Orange cartons and women have in common?
A: It’s not the shape or the size that matters, or even how sweet the juice is. It’s
getting the flaps to open that count!
Q: What do you call a Museum of erotica?
A: It’s a den of antiquities!
Q. Why did God give men penises?
A. So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Son Of A Magician
A school class are writing projects on their families. Little John is having trouble with his so the teacher helps him with a few questions.
“What’s your father’s occupation?” asks the teacher.
“He’s a magician,” says boy.
“How exciting. What’s his best trick?”
“He saws people in half.”
“Very impressive! And do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“Yea,” says John, “I’ve one half brother and one half sister.”

MAUD—”That story you told about Alice isn’t worth repeating.”

KATE—”It’s young yet; give it time.”

By Jones