Very Funny Jokes

Joseph H. Choate and Chauncey Depew were invited to a dinner. Mr. Choate was to speak, and it fell to the lot of Mr. Depew to introduce him, which he did thus: “Gentlemen, permit me to introduce Ambassador Choate, America’s most inveterate after-dinner speaker. All you need to do to get a speech out of Mr. Choate is to open his mouth, drop in a dinner and up comes your speech.”  Read more... (138 words, 11 images, estimated 33 secs reading time)

Pat, thinking to enliven the party, stated, with watch in hand: “I’ll presint a box of candy to the loidy that makes the homeliest face within the next three minutes.”  Read more... (70 words, 11 images, estimated 17 secs reading time)

MOTHER—”The teacher complains you have not had a correct lesson for a month; why is it?”

SON—”She always kisses me when I get them right.”

By Jones

MISTRESS (to new servant)—”Why, Bridget, this is the third time I’ve had to tell you about the finger-bowls. Didn’t the lady you last worked for have them on the table?”  Read more... (56 words, 11 images, estimated 13 secs reading time)

The senator and the major were walking up the avenue. The senator was more than middle-aged and considerably more than fat, and, dearly as the major loved him, he also loved his joke.  Read more... (87 words, 11 images, estimated 21 secs reading time)