Very Funny Jokes

One day, while walking with a friend in San Francisco, a professor and his companion became involved in an argument as to which was the handsomer man of the two. Not being able to arrive at a settlement of the question, they agreed, in a spirit of fun, to leave it to the decision of a Chinaman who was seen approaching them. The matter being laid before him, the Oriental considered long and carefully; then he announced in a tone of finality, “Both are worse.”

By Jones

LITTLE CLARENCE—”Pa!”

HIS FATHER—”Well, my son?”

LITTLE CLARENCE—”I took a walk through the cemetery to-day and read the inscriptions on the tombstones.”  Read more... (48 words, 11 images, estimated 12 secs reading time)

“How effusively sweet that Mrs. Blondey is to you, Jonesy,” said Witherell. “What’s up? Any tender little romance there?”

“No, indeed—why, that woman hates me,” said Jonesy.  Read more... (61 words, 11 images, estimated 15 secs reading time)

MRS. POST—”But why adopt a baby when you have three children of your own under five years old?”  Read more... (35 words, 11 images, estimated 8 secs reading time)

A servant of an English nobleman died and her relatives telegraphed him: “Jane died last night, and wishes to know if your lordship will pay her funeral expenses.”

By Jones

MOTHER (to inquisitive child)—”Stand aside. Don’t you see the gentleman wants to take the lady’s picture?”

“Why does he want to?”—Life.

By Jones

Pat came to the office with his jaw very much swollen from a tooth he desired to have pulled. But when the suffering son of Erin got into the dentist’s chair and saw the gleaming pair of forceps approaching his face, he positively refused to open his mouth.  Read more... (140 words, 11 images, estimated 34 secs reading time)

“How old are you, Tommy?” asked a caller.

“Well, when I’m home I’m five, when I’m in school I’m six, and when I’m on the cars I’m four.”

By Jones

In the negro car of a railway train in one of the gulf states a bridal couple were riding—a very light, rather good looking colored girl and a typical full blooded negro of possibly a reverted type, with receding forehead, protruding eyes, broad, flat nose very thick lips and almost no chin. He was positively and aggressively ugly.  Read more... (143 words, 11 images, estimated 34 secs reading time)

A Washington car conductor, born in London and still a cockney, has succeeded in extracting thrills from the alphabet—imparting excitement to the names of the national capitol’s streets. On a recent Sunday morning he was calling the streets thus:  Read more... (61 words, 11 images, estimated 15 secs reading time)