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Husband wife jokes are very funny. We all love funny husband wife jokes because all these funny husband wife jokes are directly or indirectly related to almost every family. There are so many examples of funny instances, funny moments, funny conversations between husband wife that you yourself can even write a funny husband wife jokes book. LOL. Here is a funny husband wife jokes that you ‘ll like.

Funny Husband Wife Jokes : Hearing Aid

A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?”

The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure.

When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn’t respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.”

The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, honey?”

He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again.

Still no response, so he moves to five feet. No answer.

Finally he stands directly behind her and says, “Honey, what’s for supper?”

She replies, “For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN, get a hearing aid!”

Here comes another funny blond joke for your fun. Previously we have told you two funny blonde jokes. This time you’ll sure enjoy reading this funny blond jokes. Read how funny it is when a blond is pregnant.

Funny Blonde Jokes : Pregnant

A blonde is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried.

She asks, “What if the baby starts coming, and I can’t get to the hospital in time?”

The doctor replies, “Well, women have been having babies for a million years without a doctor in-attendance. It’s a very natural process. The first thing you do is to assume the same position you were laying in when you got pregnant.”

The blonde interrupts with, “Do you mean with the left foot in the glove compartment and the right foot hanging out the window?”

Hah Hah What a funny blonde jokes. LOL… cute blonde lady

Short jokes and jokes one liners are very popular in the world of funny jokes. These short jokes and one liner jokes take a little time to read but they can give you lots of fun. So, don’t wait, read these funny one liners on what type of men a woman loves to get. This is hilarious.

Nine Important Men In a Woman’s Life

1. THE DOCTOR:
because he says, “Take your clothes off.”

2. THE DENTIST:
because he says, “Open wide.”

3. THE HAIRDRESSER:
because he says,”Do you want it teased or blown?”.

4. THE MILKMAN:
because he says, “Do you want it in the front or the back?”

5. THE INTERIOR DECORATOR:
because he says, “Once it’s in, you’ll love it!”

6. THE STOCK BROKER:
because he says, “It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while, and then slowly fall back again.”

7. THE BANKER:
because he says, “If you take it out too soon, you’ll lose interest.

8. THE HUNTER:
because he goes deep in the bush, shoots twice, and always eats what he shoots.

9. THE TELEPHONE GUY:
because he says, “Would you like it on the table or up against the wall?

Read this funny golf jokes on God and Moses playing Golf. Hope you like this golf joke and laugh.

God And Moses out golfing

God and Moses were out golfing. They were both doing well.

Then they came up to the 5th hole. It was a dogleg to the left, with a lake to the right.

Moses got up and hit a long shot with a little hook. Right in the middle of the fairway.

Then God got up and pulled out his driver.

Then Moses said,”God, every time you use your driver you always slice it.”

So God said, “If Tiger Woods can do it, I can do it.”

So he approached the ball. Got ready, then hit a long one.

It drifted to the right, SPLISH! Right into the middle of the lake.

So Moses said, “See God, I told you that would happen. I’ll get it this time but you’ll have to get it next time.”

So Moses went out to the lake, held up his club, and parted the lake. Then he went down, picked up the ball, and came back.

After that, everything was going fine.

Until the 18th hole, straight away, with a long lake on the right.

Moses hit a nice straight shot down the fairway.

Then God took out his driver.

Moses said, “God, last time you used your driver you sliced it. You always slice it.”

And God repeated, “If Tiger Woods can do it, I can do it.”

So he got up, and hit the ball. Long hard shot, sliced, PLUNK!

Moses said, “I got the last one.”

So God walked on the water, bent over, picked up the ball.

About this time there was a foursome coming up behind them.

One of the guys saw what God was doing and asked Moses, “Who does that guy think he is, Jesus?”

Moses replied, “No. He thinks he’s Tiger Woods.”

Here comes another funny little Johnny jokes for your fun. This naughty jokes is about little Johnny and his marriage proposal. Read this funny little johnny jokes and laugh out loudly.

Little Johnny And Marriage

Little Johnny and Susie, each five years old, decided to get married. So Little Johnny went to Susie’s dad to ask for her hand in marriage.

“Where will you live?” asked Susie’s dad, thinking this was cute.

“Well,” said Little Johnny, “I figured I could just move into Susie’s room. It’s plenty big for both of us.”

“And how will you live?”

“I get $5 a week allowance and Susie gets $5 a week allowance. That should be enough.”

Getting exasperated since Little Johnny seems to know all the answers, Susie’s dad asked, “And what if little ones come along?”

“Well,” said Little Johnny, “we’ve been lucky so far.”

Funny farmer jokes can make your day lighter. If you want some new types of hilarious jokes, farmer jokes must be in your selection list of funny jokes. Read this funny farmer joke and have fun.

The farmer, the salesman and the bug spray

A salesman was traveling through the countryside, selling insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. “Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it.”

The farmer was dubious. “Young man, I’ll make you a proposition. I’ll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I’ll buy a whole case from you.”

The salesman was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the farmer. The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the corn field. Sure enough,the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck! Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him.

The farmer was perplexed. “Son,” he said, “Now, you don’t have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?”

The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked, “For crying out loud, Mister, doesn’t that calf have a Mother!!!”

Mother’s Day jokes are the best gift for your mother on mothers day to bring a smile on her face. Mother jokes are clean jokes mostly based on parenting. Read this joke about mother’s day and wish your mom with a mothers day greetings on this mother’s day.

My Mother taught me

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION…
“Just wait until your father gets home.”

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING….
“You are going to get it when we get home!”

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE…
“What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don’t talk back to me!”

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC…
“If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, your not going to the store with me.”

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE…
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD…
“If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.”

7. My Mother taught me ESP…
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you’re cold?”

8. My Mother taught me HUMOR…
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT…
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

10.My Mother taught me about SEX….
“How do you think you got here?”

11.My Mother taught me about GENETICS…
“You’re just like your father.”

12.My Mother taught me about my ROOTS…
“Do you think you were born in a barn?”

13.My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE…
“When you get to be my age, you will understand.”

14.And my all time favorite… JUSTICE…

“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you….Then you’ll see what it’s like.”

Redneck joke is another type of funny jokes. Redneck jokes are basically based on the stereotype people of southern United States. Redneck was originally used to describe a person of pale skin that has been sunburned doing outdoor work or field work, and disproportionately applies to the poor. Today, a redneck is a stereotypical southern United States socially conservative, fiscally liberal, rural, working class white person with northern European ancestry. Big truck tires, hunting, fishing, tractor pulls, country music, Charlie Daniels, and rebel flags are just a few words that might describe a redneck. Read this funny redneck joke on hunting and have fun.

THE REDNECK HUNTING TRIP

Two men went hunting. Joe had been hunting all his life, but Steve was hunting for the first time. Joe told Steve to sit down and not make a sound. So he did.
But when Joe got 100 yards away, he heard a scream. “I thought I told you to be quiet!” he said.

“Well, I was when the snake bit me,” said Steve. “And I was when the bear attacked me… but when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg and said, ‘Should we eat them or take them with us,’ I screamed.”

One more sardar joke for your fun. Sardar jokes are funny Indian jokes on Sikh community. These sardarji jokes are similar to blond jokes. These jokes are not meant to hurt the sardars but these sardar jokes are purely for fun and amusement.

Door Bell

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.

Santa does not turn up for 4 days.

Lady calls again,

Santa replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the bell, but no one comes out.

Little Johnny jokes are the naughty jokes and you will laugh out loudly while reading these funny little johnny jokes. Here is a funny joke about little johnny asking embarrassing question to his parents.  Little johnny and balloons…you ‘ll love this  hilarious joke.

Little johnny And Balloons - A funny little johnny joke

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest!?”

Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question.

His father, always quick with the answers, says, “Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”

Little Johnny thinks that’s neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys’ dad comes home from work a few hours early. Little Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, “Daddy! Daddy! Mommy’s dying!!”

His father says, “Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy’s dying?”

“Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy’s’ balloons and she’s screaming, “Oh God, I’m coming!”